


And He Blamed Himself (Dear Evan Hansen Fan-Made Prequel)

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 18:10:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11407782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Whilst talking with a friend, they and I began to speculate what happened pre-senior year in Dear Evan Hansen, so I decided to put the prequel we liked into writing.THIS IS BY NO MEANS AN OFFICIAL PREQUEL. THIS IS ENTIRELY FAN-MADE.





	And He Blamed Himself (Dear Evan Hansen Fan-Made Prequel)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Dear Evan Hansen](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/304770) by Steven Levenson. 



> WARNINGS
> 
> if you do not like gay relationships, do not read this. connor and evan are in a relationship in this story just because, well, my friend and I enjoy the thought of it. doesn't mean you have to.
> 
> mentions of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts & attempted suicide

_6:35am_

_tu_ _esday, july. 13th, 2017_

 

* * *

 

 

 **Evan hurried to get ready** **before Connor arrived** , pulling the white t-shirt over his head as there was a knock on his bedroom door.

 

"Why do you keep the door shut when you know I've seen you shirtless?" A voice came from the other side of the wooden door. Connor.

 

_Shit._

 

Evan quickly opened the door. "Ya, well, I don't like leaving the door open while I get changed, unlike  _someone_ I know."

 

"I wonder who," Connor spoke while sitting on the edge of Evan's bed, resting one ankle on the knee of the opposite leg. He watched Evan carefully, studying how his boyfriend got dressed. He loved watching Evan shimmy into his jeans, even if they weren't that tight for skinny jeans. "I really like your ass."

 

Evan's cheeks flushed pink. "T-Thanks."

 

Connor smiled at how flustered the slightly shorter boy got when he flirted like that, He stood, walking to Evan and wrapping his arms around the dirty blonde's waist. They looked at themselves in the mirror on the wall, smiling. "God, I'm so lucky.."

 

Evan looked up at the highlight of his anxiety-ridden life, his diamond in the rough, the reason he existed, smiling. "So am I."

 

* * *

 

 

_1:48pm_

_fr_ _iday, aug. 22nd, 2017_

 

Evan looked up at the sky from his spot on top of a large oak tree, fingers intertwined with Connor's. He sighed, mind racing. He felt so.. alone. His mother had been out so much the past few months and all he had left was Connor.

 

_**Connor.** _

 

Oh,  _God_ , how he loved Connor. Connor Murphy was the absolute climax to his horror story of a life, and this was the falling action to the resolution. The resolution to his worsening anxiety and the depression it brought with it.

 

"Connor.. hear me out. Please."

 

Connor looked to Evan, concerned. "What's wrong."

 

"You are amazing. You're handsome and kind and wonderful and everything anyone could ever want. And I love you. But this is where my part in your life story ends. I take a bow in the play and the scene of the movie ends and there's no sudden reappearance. Nothing that happens to me after this is your fault, I promise you. I'm sorry, I'm just so.. done. I have no friends, I have no purpose, my mom is always gone and you're all I have left. I can't keep going on and fucking up everything I do."

 

Connor wasn't able to speak as Evan kissed him as if it'd be the last time they ever saw each other. Evan soon pulled away, and the long haired boy smiled a real, genuine smile. Evan smiled back before closing his eyes and slipping off the tree, pummeling to the ground.

 

Everything from there was a blur to Connor. He took him to the hospital and left him there. A nurse called Evan's mother that her son had fallen from a tree and broke his arm, but only Connor knew the real story.

 

Only Connor Murphy knew Evan Hansen tried to kill himself.

 

Only Connor Murphy knew what Evan Hansen's last words would've been if he'd succeeded in killing himself.

 

And Connor hated everything and everyone for it.

 

And he blamed himself.

 


End file.
